Then all of a sudden, he shouted something in a very exasperated tone (I don't remember what he said) and violently turned in my direction. I hate when he tells me to shut up (when we fight), but I wanted to be the bigger person, so I just laid back and sat in silence. I would easily advise someone else who had been hit to leave. The general perception is that domestic abuse only occurs by men against women. Do not engage in any way, period. Ice queen It can kill someone. But when emotions run high, it can make a person unstable. He started, you got angry, he got angrier, he has physical strength that trumps yours. In Other Words: "My Boyfriend Slapped Me". You choose the wrong answer/wrong action because no matter what you chose he was going to blow. We are meeting with the oncologist and surgeon today and I know it's going to be a tough conversation. But they can also be our teacher. No, my household wasn't abusive growing up but it was very stressful regardless. Coupons arent couponing like they used to. Tell him you're done and report it ASAP. You should be charged with assault, just like he would have been charged with assault if he had hit you, because that is true gender equality. To be brief: we were both drunk, which was clearly a terrible time for us to discuss some infidelity that happened on his end way earlier in our relationship (something that we are still recovering from somewhat, but can generally speak and share about it in communicative and respectful terms), emotions ran high, and I slapped him out of hurt and anger. Cutting off all communication may be easier said then done but this psychological technique is highly effective. Its like I couldnt even control it and I was fighting a battle from years ago but thats not an excuse at all. (18-24) My boyfriend (guy) is 15 and I'm 16 (girl) so I slapped him and he ran to his house (right across from mine) in tears, I ran after him but he's in his house and he locked the door and I hear him crying and all I want to do is cuddle with him and tell him every thing is gonna be ok, I love this guy very much, will he ever forgive me? I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together., Austa has been wonderful thus far. That would, first and foremost, be horrible and heinous and I would fully deserve to get arrested. "My partner emasculates me by hitting me each time." But words are easy. He made me angry and upset, and now hasn't spoken to me in two days, should I reach out? Or this is only the beginning of worse to come. Elderly man grabbed my ass on the subway today. I don't feel well and really want to go home." I slapped my girlfriend during a fight. It also says a lot about him, and none of what it says is good. It may not display this or other websites correctly. Does anyone have any input? Why are you still trying to live there? I've read up on the Abuse Wheel and other signs and manners of abuse. Men are a lot stronger and it's really not fair for them to think we're completely equal to men. Apologizing is an important first step if repairing and continuing the relationship is desired. Also, he might be afraid of what he might do if you hit him again. He text me today that he would talk to me later tonight. It always happens so quickly and it's like I'm another person and before I know it, it's too late. It has the potential to impact your physical well-being, emotional well-being, sexual and reproductive health, and finances. It's a classic move. How do I tell him? You don't indicate how old you are, but if you're old enough to have a girlfriend you're old enough to start acting like a man. For more information, please read our. !" By then I was also aware of what I had done, and was already bawling. That you can lay your hands on someone without them getting hurt and pissed with you?! I know, I'm very lucky I didn't get arrested, but maybe I should have. Edited to say - I don't condone hitting by either party, but I do get how you could be so angry and upset (abandonment issues as you said coupled with the disrespect he shows by disregarding your discussion about how him leaving makes you feel) that his "no problem" smiling face breezing in could make slapping him a very easy thing to do. Seeking to change, regardless of how tough it actually ends up being, is an essential step. You need to find a way to direct your anger in a healthy manner as opposed to injuring your loved ones. He verbally abused you, obstructed your passage of escape, and physically assaulted you with the initial shove. The goal has to be clear: never again. And it went left from there. The simple fact of the matter is that there are far more domestic abuse cases against both men and women that go unreported each day. He's broken my trust, yes, but he's also earned it back. good for him. Alcohol And Anger: A Violent Cocktail Mixed By An Angry Drunk, The Effects Of Domestic Violence On Survivors, Partners, And Children, Types Of Domestic Violence Help Out There, Domestic Violence Statistics You Need To Know, The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence And What Its Doing To Help, Understanding Domestic Violence And What It Means For You, Scratching, slapping, kicking, biting, pinching, or punching. Trust me this beats staying locked up in your room all depressed and lonely night after night forcing your self to put the telephone back down. Not only that, unstable emotions can lead to violent urges. Thread closed. What happens if she gets drunk and something similar happens again? Even though I now have a small sense of understanding why things happened this way, it does not mean it's an excuse and I recognize this. That is definitely not the way to get your ex boyfriend back. Continue on with the counseling to get to the cause of this, as if you don't, then it will repeat with other relationships. My boyfriend is a big teddy bear. Let your boyfriend know you are open to hearing their thoughts, feelings, and boundaries. Many do not wish to have this kind of inner perspective. I checked my phone a while later and my boyfriend had sent me a message saying that it wasn't okay for me to hit him like I did, and that he didn't want to see or talk to me and that I should go home to sleep instead of going to his place. He has been extremely sensitive through out our whole relationship and I have a hard time ever bringing up something that bothers me because he does not take criticism well and gets extremely mad. We've been fighting a little more recently, and it's always over something tiny, which turns into a big ordeal. I never thought he would punch me, but I also never thought I would slap him. To think of him never returning hurt her considerably, the thought of losing him forever was very painful for her. Anger management and therapy can help. He then punched me in the arm. So in case your boyfriend will get jealous when you're in dialog with a handsome man or if you talk about how humorous your co-worker is, you higher believe that he loves you. He knew nothing of a rumor that concerned him. Instead force yourself to go out and mingle with your friends. Look, I have no doubt your relationship with him was the best you've ever had at first. I would suggest you be afraid he'll come back. Has anyone reading this on ENA been to anger mgmt or have any tips on how I can stop from resorting to violence? To be brief: we were both drunk, which was clearly a terrible time for us to discuss some infidelity that happened on his end way earlier in our relationship (something that we are still recovering from somewhat, but can generally speak and share about it in communicative and respectful terms), emotions ran high, and I slapped him out of hurt and anger. He said he had immediately regretted hitting me and he'll never do it again. I have a set of Hardcore field tested techniques which are guaranteed to bring your ex lover back no matter how hopeless your situation might be. Neither of you should be resorting to violence for any reason, this is your loudest clearest message in the entire universe that this is not a healthy sane good sustaining anything, definitely not love, and you need to get out now before it gets worse. THIS is a part of his personality and he's shown you again and again that this is how he handles conflict - by getting extremely angry over even small issues (intimidating you into stopping the conversation). In reality, the problem persists, and the stigma remains. I'm not an angry person. According to the World Health Organization or WHO website, 30% of women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence. Accept the relationship is over. He is now trying to act as if everything is normal, calling me etc laughing about the violence that happened last night however i now have a sore/sworen eye due to how hard he hit me and i just don't feel the same about him or the relationship anymore but i am scared of losing him. Get yourself in therapy, read books on anger management, learn to control yourself. However he kept on following me and shouting at me, I was shouting back of course and throwing insults back then he randomly ran up to me from across the street and pushed me extremely hard - it made me take a couple steps back. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. So pay attention to this next bit. "How do I talk to my boyfriend about his professional motivation and his problematic gaming without starting a fight or making him feel bad?" Read a psychologist's response here: 18 Jan 2023 11:00:06 I told him that i want to forgive him but i can't right now.Because i said that he belittled me by stating that i hit him first when he was the one to put his hands on me and he accused me of something that was not true as well as chase after me. There are many common instances where domestic violence occurs, either in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and wives. But if a guy did this, you bet your ass that most of this subreddit would come down on him like a ton of bricks for abuse. So, just let it go. Any advice on how I can make it up to him but also stand my ground on him always leaving me? In other cases, they may want to end the relationship, and their decision should be respected. I need to remember that I can change this if I stick to my counseling. Some people would rather be single than be with someone who brings drama to their life. He ended up crying saying he felt bad about what he did in the car, I asked him to leave, he did. I thought about how we began this journey of love together, and I noticed that I just can't ever stop loving you. I just want to know why I'm a 26-year old woman who has my whole life together except for this one area. clearly you know better. You HIT him. Try to do all of this feeling with curiosity rather than judgment. You are not stronger than him. Accept that you hurt your ex-girlfriend profoundly, probably permanently. What if it escalates? Then he walks out, knowing the act makes you feel abandoned. Like, we were acting as if the hours before hadn't happened. Tamar Braxton's ex-boyfriend David Adefeso has responded to Braxton's allegations of. Then bam, just like that you will be stuck on your ex boyfriends mind and constantly in their thoughts day and night. It wouldn't be getting the same responses at all. If he ever slapped me in an argument I would leave him on the spot. You have matured and you are finally in control of yourself and your emotions. Lets think about this one for a second okay? OP, my two cents are as follows. Will be stuck on your ex boyfriends mind and constantly in their thoughts,,... I stick to my counseling escape, and their decision should be.. 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